What I’ve Learned In One Minute…

Hi friends,

This past week, all employees at work were given Christmas hampers. It was a crazy feeling, honestly. When I told my family back home about it, they were genuinely shocked and that reaction alone made me pause and realise how different gift culture is here compared to Botswana.

Back home, when it is your birthday, you usually host people. You invite your friends over, you cook, you take care of them, and you make sure everyone is looked after. The celebration feels outward facing. In the UK, it feels almost reversed. People take care of you. They buy you gifts, write you cards, do small thoughtful things, and then there is this unspoken understanding that at some point you return the favour. Neither is better or worse, but it took me a while to adjust to the difference.

One of the biggest culture changes for me has been cards. I will be honest, cards were completely non existent in my family growing up. Birthdays came and went and no one ever felt like anything was missing. It was only when I came to the UK that I started writing cards for people. At first, it felt awkward, almost forced, yet what surprised me, was how much people appreciated them. My first proper experience of receiving cards was on my twenty first birthday, and I remember feeling strangely uncomfortable reading them, not because they were bad, but because I was not used to that level of written affirmation.

For most of my life, I have struggled with cards as a gift. Not because they are a bad idea, but because most of the time they feel empty. Ninety percent of cards are just a name at the bottom, maybe a quick line that could have been written to anyone, and then they get put in a drawer and forgotten. There is nothing memorable to anchor the moment or the message.

But there was one card I received here that genuinely stayed with me. Not because it was sparkly or fancy or well designed, but because of how difficult it clearly was for the person to write it. It came from a friend who rarely ever shares their personal thoughts. They are not someone who opens up easily or puts emotions into words, so for them to sit down and write something honest and meaningful must have taken real effort. That effort was visible on the page, and it mattered more than anything the card itself could have looked like.

I think a lot of people today are living off the bare minimum when it comes to connection. So when someone shows even a small amount of intentional effort, it goes a very long way, stands out and becomes something you remember.

So I will say this. If there is someone on your mind or on your heart right now, maybe someone you are planning on seeing over the holidays, and you genuinely care about them, write them a letter. Not a polite one. Not an easy one. Write the kind of letter that makes you stop and think before every sentence. Be honest. Share your emotion. Say the things that would feel uncomfortable to say out loud. You would be surprised how much that kind of vulnerability means to someone else.

And just to be honest for myself, I do not really see writing cards as a gift because I find it quite easy to do, so it does not feel like effort on my end. But maybe that just means I need to do something extra instead of opting out altogether.

On a lighter note, work has been great recently. We had a Christmas dinner with all my colleagues, and it was genuinely awesome to sit together, laugh, and enjoy the moment outside of deadlines and projects. Secret Santa was also a highlight, mainly because I received a button that loudly shouts the word “b******t” in multiple phrases and accents. I left the room completely confused and with no idea who gave it to me, but it was a funny moment that reminded me not everything has to be deep to be appreciated.

TL;DR

This week made me reflect on how different gift culture is between home and the UK, especially around cards and intentional gestures. I realised that effort matters far more than presentation, and that the most meaningful gifts are often the ones that are hardest to give, like honest words and vulnerability. I have also been reminded that accountability strengthens intention, resistance shows up when you are moving toward something that matters, and that quiet conviction speaks louder than defensive reactions.

WINS & LESSONS

Win: I have had some genuinely amazing conversations recently about where I want to be, what direction I want to take my content in, and what I actually want it to represent. Through these conversations, I have also started to recognise my stronger suits more clearly, along with my mission and purpose. It feels grounding to articulate these things out loud instead of letting them float around loosely in my head.

Lesson:

1. I have learnt the real power of accountability. There is something very different about speaking your intentions out loud, especially when you say them to someone specific. Once you tell someone what you are going to do and who you are going to be accountable to, the goal stops being abstract and starts carrying weight.
2. No matter how perfect or suitable the environment looks, resistance will always show up when you are moving toward something that matters. You do not wait for the perfect conditions and then act. You act, and resistance reveals itself as part of the process.
3. If someone says something about you, especially about the way you practice your faith, and your first instinct is to defend yourself, reply sharply, or attack back, then there is a strong chance they touched something true. Conviction does not need to shout back. When truth is secure, it does not scramble to protect itself.

QUICK HACKS

Kitchen Timer

I have been using a physical kitchen productivity timer and setting it for twenty five or fifty minutes, then committing to one task only. Being able to see and hear time pass makes it harder to drift and easier to stay present with what I am doing. When the timer goes off, I stop, which removes the pressure of needing to work endlessly and helps me use my time more intentionally.

QFYT

What would it look like for you to offer effort instead of convenience this season, whether in the way you speak, give, or show up for the people that matter most to you?

Alright that's it from me.

In a bit,

Motheo

P.S. I forgot to press send : ), that's why you're getting this email now